Freedom is not Free in NYTIMES
Freedom Is Not Free
At times I miss the feeling of being totally free — the natural high I felt from the moment we landed in Ft. Bragg after 18 months of activation and 11 months in Iraq, when my feet finally touched American soil. For at least a year after that, I was walking on a cloud. The everyday stress of life didn’t seem to exist. I felt completely free.
But then, slowly, the drama of everyday living started to slip back in. Now, when I begin to feel stressed or that I am missing out on something, I often flip through the pages of my journal and am reminded of how minor today’s worries and complaints are. There are certain entries that take me back to moments of fear, insecurity and frustration. I have turned these memories into a source of appreciation for the life I have now.
The following is a single journal entry recorded on June 24, 2004, slightly edited for this page. The events and emotions were recorded about an hour and a half after the actual explosions from my office at Mosul City Hall. All conversations with the Iraqis were documented as we were speaking. The photographs accompanying the entry were taken from my camera, as well as the camera of a fellow soldier from the 445th Civil Affairs Battalion the day of the attack.
The entry serves as a grim reminder that freedom is not free, and that the freedoms we enjoy every day should not be taken for granted.
24 June 2004
“It’s clear that this is the worst day since the collapse of the former regime.” Those were the words that just came out of Manhel’s mouth as he sat in the major’s office, his face a mix of sadness and frustration. “Even if the police try to retaliate they will not be able to do any worse than what has just happened.” Manhel is an older man, he is one of our Iraqi translators.
City Hall two hours earlier:
0910: Sitting in my office at City Hall drinking coffee, checking e-mail, suddenly all of the windows in the building rattle. Along with the rattling is the loudest explosion I have heard to date. The explosion, I quickly learn, was at Sheik Fatah Police Station.
Heart racing, I think to myself, “Here we go, intelligence has been saying the attacks will increase.” We grab our kevlars, weapons, vests, and the radio, and rush to the roof. The black smoke from the blast — 800 meters south of City Hall — filled the sky for at least 20 minutes. The smoke was so thick it seemed you could grab it in handfuls. S.F.C. Butler and Maj. Svelan stood at the edge of the roof, weapons in hand, waiting for the next move. Should the attack move closer, they were ready.
Smoke billowing from the attack on Sheik Fatah
police station from the rooftop of Mosul City Hall.
0920: Perched on the roof, sweating under the blazing sun and monitoring the radio, I looked up and saw another massive cloud of smoke to the west. Pointing, I yelled, “There’s another one.” Three seconds later, BOOM … the sound of the blast, again the building shook.
I called Olympia Main and reported that the second explosion was near the Al Waqas police station, 600 meters west of City Hall.
Less then 30 minutes later another car bomb went off east of City Hall at the “Old Police Academy.” Numerous Iraqi police trainees were inside. It is hard to imagine the number that might be dead. I wonder how close the next bomb will be.
Top, Iraqi police at an academy training session.
Inside the Al Waqas Police Station after explosion.
About 20 minutes after the third explosion we moved back inside City Hall to gather information on the civilian injuries and deaths. I grabbed my computer and started to document everything, including brief conversations with U.S. officers and Iraqi employees.
Maj. Svelan gives the initial update: 20 Iraqis killed from first I.E.D. (Improvised explosive device). 15 ft. Crater… five civilian cars blew up … at least four civilians in each car. The numbers have not been released from the last two explosions.
Wreckage of Sheik Fatah Police Station after the attack,
top, and the scene of the car bomb.
I race down to the governor’s office to relay the information we have obtained.
Governor Kashmoula sits slumped in his chair, chain smoking, still holding himself together. Breaking the silence he finally states: “How can we stay calm when our own citizens are burning? From now on there will be a new curfew: 9 p.m. to 6 a.m. If people don’t stop at the checkpoints, they will be shot.”
It hits me as I return to our office that with the new curfew, the so called freedom we are fighting for is slipping farther away.
Salah, the Christian “office greeter” from Kara Kosh enters.
“Welcome Salah. How are you feeling?” I ask.
He responds in his broken English. “I feel nothing. We knew this will happen, sure, will happen. I think this will not affect our futures. Bad guys will always be bad guys. I think this is the end of them, maybe two months, three months. They have got nothing, nothing at all, they will stop. This is the act of criminals. If they truly want to help this country they need to do something else. They have no religion. They are like animals, following a bad leader doing only what they are told. If I could get one of them I would show them what he did and he too would die as did the people he killed today. An eye for and eye. Why? I would ask, Why? How do you justify this action?”
Salah sighs, thinking for a moment.
“The future will be better,” he says. “At least we have freedom. We have to pay for freedom, it costs and it may cost lives, it may cost all things … but it’s worth it. Freedom is not free.”
Salah gives a crooked grin, then says, “Things are much better now than even a year ago. We have freedom to speak, to speak our minds on any subject. God gives us freedom; he gave Adam the freedom. This freedom was meant to be continued but we have imprisoned ourselves. The enemy is within us. We are our own enemy and only we can escape our own prison by thinking good and positive about life. Our regions are always putting the small walls around themselves. They are selfish and want to control more than their own lives. A bad self always wants to control, give orders. This thought comes from the east; those from the west have the freedom and know the life. Here we continue to dig our own jail.”
Dr. Huneen Al Qado, a predominant Shia Provincial Council Member, frantically enters the office.
“Demonstration coming — you should bomb them,” says Dr. Al Qado. You have to deal with them harshly … believe me … Bomb them, bomb them! They are criminals, against the Iraqi people. Please Bomb them.”
“I agree that they are bad people, but I think the Iraqi Security has the situation under control,” responds Maj. Svelan.
“I don’t think the Iraqis have control. Please take care of yourself,” Dr. Al Qado replies.
Noaman, another Iraqi interpreter enters the office.
“Sandi,” Noaman asks me, “where have you been? Oh, you’re writing. What are you writing?”
“Just about what happened today. Where have you been? I wanted to talk to you,” I say to him.
“The day is full of excitement. Don’t you like excitement?” he replies.
When I think of excitement I think of a roller coaster ride, winning a raffle, or sliding down a waterfall, not watching building blow up, or hearing of innocent people being killed. “No, not this kind, “ I say, still reflecting on what is considered exciting. “How are you feeling? How did you feel when you heard the first explosion, then the second so soon after?”
“I think I get used to such sounds.”
“Yes,” I say, knowing exactly what he means. “But what do you feel?” His response is only a blank stare. “Sadness, frustration, remorse, anger?” I prompt.
“All of these,” he says. “It is a big game. We are all waiting for the results.”
“When do you think the end will come?” I ask him.
“After a long time maybe.”
Uncomfortable with the conversation, Noaman walks away.
Finally back at Camp Freedom.
Maj. Svelan called and said he needed to talk to S.F.C. Butler and me. I went to the palace right away. We sat on the couch in the lobby of Saddam’s palace as the major looked at us and said, “Jools died today. He was shot in the head on a convoy back from Hell’s Gate.”(Jools was a member of our Global security team. He had just returned from leave about a week ago to finish the last week of his contract. I heard that his wife did not want him to come back, but for his team he wanted to finish his obligation. He was slotted to fly home for good tomorrow. He is survived by his wife and a six-year-old son, Matthew.)
We all sat silent for a minute. I tried to hold back the tears; tears of frustration, of remembrance, of stress and loss of hope for an entire nation in one day. Despite my effort the tears flowed. Maj Svelan apologized and said, “Maybe I shouldn’t have said it like that. I should have thought about it longer.”
I said, “No, that was fine. I just didn’t think the day could get any worse.”
60 comments so far...
I am number 60:
- 60.
Americans want to see themselves as/at the center of the universe whether it is as saviors of the ‘unfree’ world or as entitled to other people’s resources or as arrogant and superior and entitled. That is what WE ARE KNOWN –all OVER the world not just in the Middle East. “Why do they hate us?” should better be “Why wouldn’t they hate us?” and the THEY are not bad terrorist and ignorant Arabs but MOST OF THE WORLD. we are more feared than envied; the U.S. outside interests have always been about interest, money, potential for U.S. economic gains and never about the lies government tells us.
dude, #44, don’t be so cocky. all empires fall, all! and the chain that you are so happy to be a part of, the one that sits at the top, is going to topple and be wrung around your/our neck by those who are sick of imperialist/capitalist/unctuous,egregious/clueless attitudes.
#36 pegged it too!
#18 “saving brown women from brown men” is only a ruse and the U.S. only pretends to care about women and rights WHEN there would be an economic motive and profit for the ‘cost’ of freedom. that’s what i think you were implying.I never supported either bush president or this 16 year war…..we never stopped bombing Iraq even while clinton was president. OVER 1 million Iraqis have died. we want to eliminate 1 man (hussein) and the cost = 1 million. and billions of U.S. dollars. we are all suffering in this country. our economic is a disaster. Clinton left us with biggest surplus and this baby bush put us into the worst deficit in our history. [i did not vote for clinton either]
Freedom is certainly not free & we, Americans, deserve the economic punishment. all our homes should be in foreclosure. we should all get hit by some REAL devastation so we understand that war has costs that are not to be recovered!! Wake up, Empire…
posted by DangerousDerrida at Monday, October 29, 2007
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2007
4:41 am
This is a very touching story.I guess for people like me who have never lived on the edge,it might be hard to fathom the tensions and problems encountered in the frontline.Thank you Sandi for trying to convey a clear image of what it is like.
— Posted by Samuel Ndiritu
2007
5:49 am
Dear Sandi;
On 20 June 2004, as my time with the CPA in Baghdad, was near end, I called a Canadian Kurdish colleague to arrange a meeting for a good bye. We had worked together for the last several months and her insights were something that had carried me through a time of self deception and denial the was the spring of 2004 in Iraq. ‘Would she be available to meet me within the next few days’; I asked? “Only if before the 23rd”, she replied, “as I intend to take an unscheduled vacation outside Irag for a few days satrting then.” “My father (a senior Kurd politican) thought it was wise.” This was her way to warn me that the events of your 24th were expected to come. I scheduled my departure for the 21st.
— Posted by Bill Keller
2007
7:35 am
Occupation is expensive.
— Posted by JB in NYC
2007
8:14 am
Thank you and Bless You for your comments. Alhamdulallah (Thanks Be to God) that you were able to return home safely. Thank God, too, that you are able to serve as a witness to the events of this war.
My heart goes out to those who have suffered, and I wonder — no — I believe — that I am being a “Good German” by simply standing by, without protest, while this goes on.
Jewell Gregory
— Posted by Jewell Gregory
2007
8:21 am
No comment can fully justify the happenings and our contributions in Iraq. I wee survive as a free country- it will be our utmost shame.
— Posted by Syd
2007
8:27 am
Dear Sandi,
Your journal entries and photographs give a depth of information about the war in Iraq that cannot be seen on television. Watching war news on TV is just like watching movies. It doesn’t seem real even though it is daily reality for everyone there. It’s difficult to imagine how all the violence will lead to “freedom” in Iraq. Early Americans fought in wars to establish soveriegnty from foreign nations, and then to establish the value of freedom on our own soil. Thank you for your documentation of evolving freedom.
— Posted by Lydia Wilder
2007
9:01 am
after reading this article, i do not know what i can say, only hope people all over the world can have a beautiful and peacefull live, we do not want too much, we just need all our family and friends around us, we are looking forward to peace, better life, no bombs, no fights, no crimimals
— Posted by handsome mok
2007
9:22 am
The phrase “Freedom Is Not Free” is meaningless in the context of the war in Iraq. Would someone please explain to me exactly how Iraq (pre-war) was endangering our freedom? This trite and meangingless phrase is most often uttered by the those uneducated and reactionary Americans who believe that criticizing the U.S. government is unpatriotic. An interesting article, but please spare me the silly slogans.
— Posted by Darren Kelly
2007
9:36 am
“Sell not virtue to purchase wealth, nor Liberty to purchase power.”
Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanack, 1738.
Our leaders have sold your virtue to purchase nothing but wealth.
Our leaders have sold your liberty and mine, and that of an innocent invaded and occupied sovereign nation to purchase nothing but power.
It is now the responsibility of the United States military to lay down its arms and help the majority of citizens remove its so called leaders and provide them with fair trials.
— Posted by Keith Koski, Houston
2007
9:44 am
Thank you Sgt. Austin,
What can I say after reading your words? What do I say about the war in Iraq and Afghanistan? Your journal only gives me a glimmer of the true horror seen on a daily basis by our troops and the people of Iraq and Afghanistan. I can’t imagine the daily lives of our troops. I opposed the invasion of Iraq before it occured and want our troops home, but I also know the sacrifice you and they have made and can no longer find the answers to my questions. I no longer know what course of action we should take. The world has gone mad and reason is lost. How do we respond? How do we fix it? I simply don’t know and fear nobody truly does.
— Posted by Brandon Aden
2007
9:53 am
Sandi,
Great article!!
I think that we need to see the terror up close so we can appreciate freedom. There are so many people here in the US that can keep on living extravagantly, buy all the toys they want (which requires fuel to get, and which is why you guys are in Iraq), and they can sleep at night too. We abuse our freedom by living extravagantly at the expense of the poor here at home and mostly overseas. You can tell by how many people have responded to your piece here. If there was a required draft, and required participation, it would be better. Our policy and our thirst for oil put us in Iraq. Bush refused to use diplomacy and should have pushed for conservation here at home. Instead he gave tax breaks to those that bought huge vehicles.
Thanks again,
- Bruce
— Posted by Bruce Beale
2007
10:07 am
Regardless of the ideological/economic nature of the war, I believe that having a clear picture of what happens on the ground challenges our comfortable perceptions and opinions about it. It is easy to judge from the comfort of our living rooms.
It is sad that a country will go to war without a clear reason in the minds of its citizens; it is sadder to leave the invaded country destroyed without committing to its reconstruction and the dignity of its citizens. In my mind, despite the very apparent economic motives of the war, “freedom” is a much more important topic for the Iraqis who lived under a despot than for the Americans, who choose their own leaders and live the consequences of their choices.
— Posted by Jason
2007
10:34 am
While Sandi’s perspective should be respected as her own experience, and an intensely powerful and harrowing one, very well written, it disturbs me deeply on several levels.
As the daughter of an Arab mother and American diplomat father, I lived as an American foreign service kid in several Arab countries including Iraq during the Iran-Iraq war when we were still giving Saddam weapons. Since then I have been in New York, working in various ways to address the complex relationship between Arabs and Americans.
It is important to note in reading Sandi’s words that the Iraqis she quotes from are those allowed access to American military offices and personnel.
This requires either an existing investment in what America is doing in Iraq, or a desperate need for the money such jobs and access bring in - jobs badly needed in a country whose economy and security have been decimated by American sanctions, then bombings, then Occupation and the chaos that has ensued.
So the unspeakably self-deprecating quotes from Salah make me deeply sad - If indeed he made such sweeping denigrations of his own people, it is a sad reminder of the legacy of colonization and occupation, first by European powers, who were the ones to actually “draw walls around” Iraq and almost the entire Middle East, leading to many of the conflicts we see today. Then, I am ashamed to say, by our own country.
It is sad to see that our rhetoric of superiority on the basis of some higher moral ground has seeped into the minds of some Iraqis trained by generations of colonization to see themselves as inferior to Western occupying powers.
It is true that freedom is not free - Neither Iraq nor America will ever be free until we free ourselves from the idea that one nation, race, religion, or region, is superior to another.
— Posted by leila, NYC
2007
11:01 am
Dear Sandi,
You lived and suffered what very few of us can imagine. Ninety-nine percent of the rest of us seem to think that putting a magnetic ribbon on the rear of the car is contributing to the effort.
— Posted by Larry Waltman
2007
11:06 am
I agree with #8, “Freedom’s not free” in Iraq never had to be. We tent to forget to quickly why our troops and Iraqis are there fighting. We created this “price-to-pay-for-Freedom”. As we all know now (and some always knew) Hussein could have been taken down in many different ways if that was not for our dictatorship-like and self-centered Govt. The story is very touching and I would like to thank the authors for sharing it. But I truly feel sorry for all of those (including the authors) who have to live this war and pay that price everyday because of our Govt.
— Posted by C. Plecy
2007
11:11 am
Darren, “Freedom is not free” is painfully true and is at the heart of the painful truth of this article. Please reread it and try to understand how it is the lens through which you can see Iraquis “purchasing” their own freedom. This is their own Iraqi assessment, not ours. The “slogan” you are wont to revile was uttered by an Iraqi, who was lamenting the cost of freedom, and he stated very clearly, they thought it was not only worth the price in lives, but whatever freedom cost. They regard freedom as something from God. They (Iraqis) are making it clear to us that they know the bad people are a tiny minority and they really want to just get on with the post Saddam liberation. This means they are grateful for our efforts to liberate them, however messy this has turned out. It also means they really don’t buy the “occupation” garbage and want to get to the freedom they see in the West. This is what the Bush administration knew existed in the majority Iraqi hearts and minds. It is what history will tell the rest of the Mideast when the battle over idealist Islamic terror is put down or worn down. This is a contest worth sticking out, a prize worth winning. The vast majority soldiers in uniform are telling us this story, and so it is so valuable to see sorties like this, so we can identify the few phony soldiers and the one or two political generals griping publicly about the war. Thank you deeply Sandy, Thank you.
— Posted by TimC
2007
11:43 am
I strongly second Darren Kelly’s comment. The United States’ actions in Iraq have strongly eroded human freedoms here and in Iraq. Reading the article a better title might have been “Freedom is Leaving Iraq” …as that was the author’s personal experience, and as might well be that of our nation should we ever disentangle ourselves from Bush’s disastrous mess.
— Posted by Quinn McLaughlin
2007
11:44 am
Right now, there are women in the Congo getting raped violently by Hutu madmen from Rwanda, destroying their internal organs not to mention their minds.
Where are the big strong men of the world, to protect them? There is real suffering right now, unspeakable and unimaginable horror that must be stopped. Where are our American Heroes in this case? How does our government choose where to get involved militarily? If all we as a nation and as the US armed forces care about is Freedom, as Bush says, how do they choose who deserves “freedom”?
Don’t these defenseless, miserable, wretched souls in Congo deserve freedom from violence?
— Posted by Anne-Marie Vaduva
2007
11:56 am
Thank you, Sandi.
You brought us into the heart of darkness by revealing the light in your heart. It’s a beautiful testament to the ugly horror of war. Most recently, Americans who watch PBS have seen the horrors of the second world war through the uncompromising lens of Ken Burns.
He got to the reality you encountered in Iraq by going directly to the soldiers and their families: he called it, not a good war (there are no good wars), but a necessary war.
This disgraceful conflict in Iraq is completely unnecessary. . .and shameful.
— Posted by christopher swan
2007
12:05 pm
My deepest sympathy for your losses. The sad and poignant memories remind me of similar times in my life. You have done you duty to God and Country, now you must rest from violence. Unfortunately your leaders have underestimated the cost of this misadventure into stealing oil. We have stepped into Saddam Hussein’s shoes and are doing what he did to maintain some semblance of peace. I abhor his methods but ours are no better and the outcome is uncertain. How much longer will the opposing factions continue to bomb each other into peace? Is this the best method of securing it?
— Posted by Michael
2007
12:07 pm
Darren,
Your rant against the phrase
“Freedom Is Not Free” makes no sense. You miss the point that it is about Iraq being free which certainly is a huge battle now agaist dark elements that want to destroy any chance. I know folks with your attitude seem to want to blame all the violence on the US. that is a huge lie. People make their own moral choices and choosing to blow up a police stations, markets or whatever have no redeeming value or justifiable merit in any context.
The war is Iraq now is not the war the US started. It is a different war and not one which the US is forcing to continue. It would be over in a week if the extremists would just stop.
Then the US would leave.
And the antiwar types in the US which want to end the war are not honest.
They do not want to end THE
war, just OUR involvement in it. They care not if the Iraqis continue to fight each other and the foreign terrorists. Proof is that no one offers a peace plan to stop the fighting but only a demand that the US leave.
Oh, don’t come back with the insulting idea that everyone will lay down their arms just because the US leaves. Where is the PEACE plan from the antiwar activists?
— Posted by Rob
2007
12:11 pm
Saddam Hussein’s Iraq was not a threat to our freedom,and I am sorry that American soldiers experienced the chaos and horror there. The Iraq war is not about freedom, and to make that suggestion is either ignorant or manipulative. This article serves as grim propaganda supporting an administration that has placed a higher value on advancing its own economic interests than it has on the lives and well being of its own citizens. I share the author’s appreciation for our freedoms here in this country. But I feel that the greatest threat to those freedoms is not found in Iraq, but here in our own country, where our leaders serve the interests of corporations.
— Posted by Dustin
2007
12:12 pm
Yes, freedom is not free. How, then, do we give it to another people? Who would think that occupying another country would give that country freedom?
— Posted by Bob Stromberg
2007
12:20 pm
In response to comment 8 -Darren.
The title to this piece, Freedom is Not Free” was not meant to imply that Americans are in Iraq for our freedom. I was referring to the words that flowed from the office greeter, Salah’s mouth. He saw the loss of Iraqi lives that day as the price Iraqis and Kurds are paying for freedom. Freedom as he stated early in the piece, to speak freely - freedom from the regime.
— Posted by Sandi Austin
2007
12:28 pm
Sandi,
Regardless of whether we agree with the war or not, my family and I continue to pray for all of our soldiers over seas. It is an important reminder that the trials and tribulations of soldiers aren’t left on foriegn soil but brought home, where everyday can bring reminder of horrors and heartache.
— Posted by Katie Z.
2007
12:42 pm
to comment #9, Darren Kelly:
“Freedom is not Free” was spoken by an Iraqi about his country.
Do you think that your country is the only one deserving freedom?
— Posted by Virginia R Cleary
2007
12:44 pm
I found the story very moving and sad, but I also take issue with the “freedom is not free” line. It strikes me as a call to sacrifice and a justification for all the suffering that has gone on in Iraq since we invaded. While it may be true that freedom is not free, we also shouldn’t try to make it more expensive by starting unnecessary wars and demanding people sacrifice their lives, money and sanity to it.
— Posted by Andrew
2007
12:46 pm
Darren Kelly, did you even read the article? It’s about Iraqis and Americans together fighting for Iraqi freedom. And an American appreciating the freedom she can home to enjoy. You’re not criticizing the U.S. government in your post, you’re criticizing Sandi as being uneducated and reactionary who uses a silly slogan. Kieth Koski, WHAT wealth? WHAT wealth is coming to the United States as a result of the war in Iraq? Oil wealth? Gee, where’s that at? How many billions a month are spent on the war? Wealth? Tell us all where the wealth is Keith?
Sandi, thank you so much for your service. Thank you for your part in helping Iraqis attain the kind of freedom that the self-centered and tone dear Keith Koski, Houston, and Darren Kelley already enjoy.
— Posted by Ernest
2007
12:51 pm
@Darren Kelly, you need to read the article and find where the phrase is said. It was not said by an American, nor were they defending our nation. You should take the time to read something before posting a comment.
@Keith Koski, neutrality only ever helps the aggressor, never the victim. Please read the part of the article about the Christian Iraqi.
It’s foolish to think that our freedom is the only freedom that counts. This is the thought process that afflicts our country today, and which is undermining efforts to make a better world.
— Posted by Joe
2007
12:52 pm
Um, it’s worth remembering that this is from 2004. Iraq has significantly improved since then, the daily reports of which serve as appropriate and timely bookends juxtaposed to this story about how when the Iraqs finally decided life under Al Qaeda actually did suck, they immediately did something about it. Don’t look now, but that’s a form of freedom. The huge costs being paid are in fact starting to make a difference. I suggest we put aside our ideological differences and support them, lest we return to the ugly days of the above.
— Posted by Rory
2007
12:52 pm
Thank you number 13–”Neither Iraq nor America will ever be free until we free ourselves from the idea that one nation, race, religion, or region, is superior to another.”
And doesn’t it come down to each person as well? How many times a day do we, in sleep, judge someone else to be less than we are? If we began to count it would be a shock. And if we could sit still with the unpleasantness of that negativity (in the form of insecurity-driven self-importance) –I believe we would be taking a real step toward peace… because don’t we lash out from our own insecurity and pain?
— Posted by K. Jacobson
2007
12:57 pm
An interesting thing is ‘War’. All the wars of the world have been fought, including this one, because one country or group of leaders wants to exert control over the population and or land and borders of another country. But, that is just one side of war.
The other side of war, is the country and the people of that country that are fighting to maintain their freedom, or their current way of life.
So the question is, which war are we fighting and why? Some may claim, like Keith above, that we ar fighting for power. I am not sure what ‘power’ we are getting out of this war. Other’s claim, that we are fighting for oil. That really does not make a lot of sense. While Iraq has a lot of oil, there are tremendous amounts of larger oil fields elsewhere in the world, and I don’t see us fighting there.
I truly believe we are fighting this war for the freedom of the people of Iraq and for the future security and freedom of our nation. For those of you who do not understand the radical side of the muslim faith, and their overall goals for world domination, then you are missing the boat. If things go badly for us, I feel sad for the future of our children, as one day their freedom may be lost, and they will be told what religion they can follow. Thank you Sandi for allowing us to see the real side of the war being fought there, and not the one the media wants us to see.
— Posted by Fred Lalumandier, Houston
2007
1:17 pm
It would be good for our society if our understanding of why Iraq was invaded was more clearly understood. However, as policy is reduced to the domain of the six second sound bite, much content is lost. The WMD issue, while convenient and easy to tell was never the principal reason. Sadam’s refusal to comply with the 1990 and 91 UNSCRs was what kept sizable U.S. forces in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. In turn, those forces were a hugely destabilizing presence in the region. The only way to avoid future 911s is to actively engage in shaping a Middle East that is not inherently threatening to the U.S. Historians will be able to argue for years to come about whether the road out of Saudi Arabia passed through Baghdad but that was the best consensus amount the leadership at the time. The Operation Souther Watch forces departed from Saudi Arabia in April and May of 2003.
— Posted by Ed G.
2007
1:18 pm
Earnest, I DID read the article, and I also object to the title “Freedom isn’t Free.” It prejudices the reader to get on board with the idea that what we are doing in Iraq is noble, and that all Iraquis would lay down their lives for it, right now. That’s a horrible distortion of the truth. Some Iraquis may believe that, but many other Iraquis don’t believe in democracy as a system of government at all. America’s fight for freedom was long and bloody, but it was self-determined and it was fought honorably. I doubt if John Adams and Thomas Payne would have done what they did at the cost of killing and maiming many thousands of children and other innocents. That is the “freedom” that we have chosen for Iraq. Iraq was not threatening our freedom under Saddam. If Iraqui freedom was to be wrested from Saddam, it should have been done by Iraquis, in a way that would be meaningful and sensible for Iraq.
— Posted by Marcia Martin
2007
1:33 pm
Sandi, Jeffrey, Michael, Lee, Brian: As one who has been opposed to this war from the start, and as a fellow veteran, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your words, thank you for your service and thank you for your sacrifice. It is a measure of our nation’s enduring strength that even when the going is tough, the mission is obscure and victory is too far over the horizon to see, people like you, and all the others, step up.
— Posted by Kris Jackson
2007
1:35 pm
This is painful for any ex-GI to read, esp those of us from the Vietnam Era. As this war is prolonged without any real reason to hope, I continue to see parallels and omens:
1. Between when Pres Lyndon Johnson acknowledged that the Vietnam War was immaterial to American vital interests, and the point when US troops left, the death toll went from 16,000 to 58,000. That means that 42,000 died essentially for nothing. Iraq, as of right now, is a bargain compared to that.
2. American troops did not leave Vietnam voluntarily: they were essentially forced out. “Peace with Honor” was a silly slogan, cooked up in Washington. That war, like this one, was programmed to go on forever.
3. Pretending that the South Vietnamese Gov’t was in charge of anything (other than corruption and playing footsie with those killing American soldiers) isn’t much different than what we’re pretending in Iraq.
4. All of the horror scenarios predicted should the US fail in Vietnam, simply did not happen. It was all Washington nonsense to fool the American people.
5. Soldiers don’t invent wars, civilian officials do. Every time I hear the facile “Support our Troops” guilt-mongering, I hear “Support the boondoggle policy that opportunistic politicans created, so they can look good and avoid being made to account”
6. Unlike the present author who expresses sadness, in Vietnam it was anger and cynicism. The best comment from “The Troops” in Vietnam was from a Staff Sergeant caught on film at the battle of Hue. Pinned behind a wall with his men, bullets going in all directions, he looked over his shoulder, in response to a newsman’s question, and said “This whole goddam thing stinks.” But we were citizen soldiers back then. What the Founding Fathers intended (with good reason). We knew what LBJ knew, and we knew who was paying the price, and said so. Professional armies don’t say those things.
7. America recovered from the debilitating cost of the Vietnam War, and the current administration has put us back where we were, only much worse.
8. After Vietnam we thought “They’re never going to do another one like this, as long as we’re still alive” We were mistaken, and here we are. Politicians can’t resist finding uses for large standing, professional armies. Read the words of the Founding Fathers.
The solution is pretty clear to me, as it has been to Sen Biden. That’s another subject.
John Turnbull
— Posted by John Turnbull
2007
1:36 pm
… to those who have enjoyed the “richness” of freedom and all its benefits … will never understand the passion of those who seek it …
… you cannot be given freedom … only the opportunity to secure it … it is earned very expensively by combatting those who lose control and stature by you exercising that freedom …
… if you have not witnessed the process first hand … then you are missing a very big piece of what it means to be free …
— Posted by D Berry
2007
2:11 pm
Sandi,
I believe that every American soldier believes that his or her sacrifice was made in the spirit of helping another human being.
Thank you for your sacrifice.
Keep on going strong
God Bless
Russ
— Posted by Russell Reed
2007
3:02 pm
My heart breaks for Sandi and all the others who are with her in Iraq fighting for someting, but NOT for freedom. I fear they are fighting for something the Bush Administration has decided it wants: Oil. Bush and company decided they wanted a presence in the Middle East to control some of its oil. Iraq was the one counry with vast reserves of oil that Bush could take over militarily. Bush has been at war in that country for five year and still has not “taken over.” What a disaster. What a tragedy . What utter folly It make me weep with sorrow, anger and shame.
Anne
— Posted by Anne k
2007
4:21 pm
I couldn’t agree with you more. Freedom is not free. Because of the American invasion of Iraq, an opportunity exists for the Iraqis to be free, and I want them to have their freedom just as much as you do.
Shouldn’t we start listening to the Iraqis, then? Perhaps the governor of Nineveh Province agrees with the current policies of the American occupation forces, but is that the opinion of the majority of Iraqis? If it truly is, tell us, and I promise you, that will cause me to think long and hard.
But if the majority of Iraqis believe, as I strongly suspect, that we hurt far more than we help, then let’s think about that, long and hard, and ask ourselves what’s the right thing to do today.
— Posted by Donald Weed
2007
5:00 pm
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us.
Even though you didnt say, I suspect Jool was a Blackwater employee and made a sacrifice of his life just as our soldiers.
— Posted by Curt
2007
5:14 pm
I finally understand why the draft is so important. And, NO, I don’t think there should be a draft. But if it were our own sons and daughters being sent to fight this war, would more of us be in the streets protesting every single day to bring them home? And when will we realize that it IS our sons and daughters. Every life lost is on our shoulders now. We can no longer blame the government. It is, after all, a government of the people, BY the people. If we want change, we have to change it
— Posted by Carey
2007
6:03 pm
John Turnbull, Thank you for your comments. I love to hear former soldiers with Vietnam or other credentials speak the truth–as we know, you are the only ones who can speak without being condemned as unpatriotic. As sad as this story is, I agree with all those who point to the sentimentalizing (even if it was an Iraqi who said Freedom isn’t Free, it sounds like he was repeating some propaganda material). And Mr. Turnbull, your observation about citizen soldiers vs a professional military is so on the mark: would citizen soldiers and their families stand for this folly?
— Posted by Jeanne
2007
6:48 pm
Wow, what a story, and that is some journal entry. As a layman businessman from NYC, I sit and think about credit card bills, mild food poisoning, being late on my mortgage and a plethora of other minor non-deadly daily issues. It seems that I am unaware of such disaster overseas. Or maybe I am not.
I understand the issues overseas and I choose to move on with my life. America is my country; I support our troops for all they do for us the people. I support our government and I support all the actions our government implements to protect this country.
There is bloodshed everywhere, and as one gentleman said, “we are our own enemy.” All this bloodshed, killing and wars will never stop and I understand the reasons.
Human civilization is about 6000 years old, but hominids go back 2.5 million years. Certainly there were lots of fighting and many of wars, it will not change. For example, gazelle eats grass, Lions kill gazelle, and vultures finish up the carcass. It is the food chain, the power chain, and I love my country because America sits on top of that chain.
— Posted by Nelson Nigel
2007
9:34 pm
Delivering freedom to oppressed Iraqis was the 5th or 6th justification initially provided to whip up support for preemptively invading one of the dozen or so sovereign third-world nations subjugated by a ruthless military dictator.
1. Hussein played a key role planning and carrying out the 9-11 terrorist attacks.
2. Hussein provided sanctuary and training for al-Qaeda terrorists.
3. Hussein possessed and intended to use WMD, making him a greater threat than Osama bin Laden.
4. Hussein’s active nuclear weapons program conjured up mushroom clouds in U.S. cities.
5. Hussein is a tyrant and Iraqis need freedom.
In Afghanistan we were in hot pursuit of Osama bin Laden and had him cornered in a cave. Does anyone actually believe Americans could have been motivated at that point to change course and storm into a country that did not attack us because of a moral obligation to spread freedom and democracy?
Salah, the office greeter, made his “freedom is not free” statement on June 24, 2004. That was more than three years ago and slightly more than one year after he became free. He was surely targeted for assassination by insurgents. I wonder if he or any members of his family have been killed since that day. I wonder if he feels the same way today.
It looks like Vladimir Putin may no longer intend to hand power over to a successor. Should we now invade Russia to ensure freedom for its citizens?
— Posted by JB in NYC
2007
11:32 am
Hi, Sandi –
Thanks for your tears, your care and your service to America and Iraq.
I sometimes wonder if we the care givers in this world can make a difference. You would think that educated groups of people who can communicate and cooperate would do well in this world, yet your experience and mine seem to suggest otherwise. So often, I feel like we are being used.
My gig is I am trying to help a guy named Bill get out from living under a bridge. He’s a homeless guy with a bad hip and a bum leg who holds a cardboard “God Bless” sign at the corner of a busy intersection near where I work. Half the people I work with have seen him there, waving his weird-looking peace sign, begging for help. A few of his buddies live with him under the bridge or in a tent down by the river a few yards away. Obviously, booze can help take the edge off a life like that. And if the booze doesn’t work, maybe drugs will. I am a “patient care technician” at a major metropolitan hospital. Ironically, my salary for a family of four puts me near the edge of poverty. Bill is in the hospital with a major wound infection.
So my question is, if we can land a man on the moon and by “shock and awe” make the Middle East safe for freedom and democracy, then can anybody help me help this guy out from under that bridge?
I’m worried. First, I wonder why do people like me pull people from car wrecks while so many others either drive by or stand around and watch? Likewise, why are you one of the brave few that are pulling people out from the middle of a war when some 200 – 300 million of your fellow citizens stand by and watch?
Second, just before writing this I read an ad in FORTUNE magazine for pampered travelers that says the number of high-net-worth individuals in the world (those with more than $1 million in liquid assets) increased by 8.3% last year. Did you know that a flatbed with massage is standard first-class fare on some transpacific flights, that affluent travelers who leave a luxury car in the driveway at home expect a luxury car waiting in the rental lot, that they are increasingly willing to spend on experiences like travel instead of things like cars and second a third homes? We’re not talking about people here, but about 200-thread-count comforters and the choice of down or foam jumbo-sized pillows in luxurious, private hotels and on ever more exclusive islands, no matter what the cost.
Thanks for caring. Thanks for trying. Love will conquer all.
— Posted by Pen > Sword
2007
12:24 pm
Interesting article and comments range from A to Z. I too have an uneasy feeling when comparing this war with Vietnam. I remember the Americanization of that war. I remember the tens of thousands of mountain people killed because they supported the US in this war. Perhaps instead of finger pointing we need to remember why it happened and ensure we do not do it again. I think there is a much more important reason for us being in Iraq. I think those saying oil is the reason are partially correct; albeit Europeans that benefit most from Iraqi oil. But the US is hooked on oil from the middle east and until we find a way to wean ourselves away from this drug We are forced to involve ourselves in the middle east. What President Bush failed to do was generate a buy in for our invasion. We have to establish a stable country in the middle east. Saddam simply provided the opportunity for us to do this. Outside of Iran He provided the opportunity in that he represented a destabliizing factor to the region. We seemed to forget his unwillingness to cooperate with weapons inspections, his willingness to kill thousands of Iranians and Kurds with poison gas and I do believe chemical warfare is considered a WMD device. What is the end game?
Let’s support and HELP create a stable government in the middle east. This requires US to sacrifice by forcing our leaders to consider alternate energy sources. Which means kicking big oil in the butt give them the option of creating more refineries or having their excessive profits heavily taxed. Give the car companies the option of making only cars that get over thirty miles per gallon or surrender their huge tax breaks. Make US responsible for our energy overuse. Take the tax monies collected from the oil companies and make available to individuals to become less dependent or totally energy free from the utility companies.
Now you know why this will not work?? Because it requires US to put our actions where our mouths are. It requires US to sacrifice and it requires our government leaders to treat US like adults. We do not mind an ox getting gored as long as it is not our ox.
— Posted by Paul Stephens
2007
2:41 pm
Thankyou Sandi for sharing your experience with us. It was refreshing to hear a first hand account of your story while in service to our country and commited to your mission.
— Posted by Cat Landers
2007
2:56 pm
Folks every thing Sandi has said here is very true and there still is way more thats untold. Sandi if you read this contact me via AKO. Thanks for being there too….John
— Posted by SGT John Savage USASOC DAVPRM
2007
2:58 pm
Thanks Sandi…please keep writing. Your words and the pictures help create a more accurate picture of Iraq than the mainstream media.
— Posted by Carl
2007
3:16 pm
“The entry serves as a grim reminder that freedom is not free, and that the freedoms we enjoy every day should not be taken for granted.”
While I agree that our everyday freedoms should not be taken for granted, I find myself questioning the meaning and validity of the first part of this sentence.
As for meaning, I have to ask whose freedom are we talking about and what does that freedom mean. If it’s our freedom, then I feel this entire war has been and continues to be a gross waste of our people and resources, for in no way do I feel that Iraq or Hussein was a threat to our freedom. If it’s Iraqi freedom you’re referring to, I question what that means to Iraqis who now live in daily fear and uncertainty after four and half years of war with no end in sight, with one sixth of the entire population uprooted and half of that forced to flee the country, with unity a fiction and civil war a reality. Just what freedoms are the Iraqis enjoying in these conditions?
As for validity, I regret to say that for the vast majority of the people in this country, there is no validity whatsoever in your statement. The sacrifices of this war are falling only on a tiny fraction of the populace, i.e. those families with members in the service. For the rest of the country, it’s been and continues to be a free ride. Our leaders refuse to even try to get the nation as a whole to share the burdens of this war, not in terms of the financial costs and most certainly not in terms of the human costs. Most of us are living a bald-faced lie when we say “we support the troops” for in truth we are not taking on and are not willing to take on our proper share of the burden. We have been misled into a war by leaders whose incompetence has made that war a fiasco that our troops have been paying for for over four years now, and yet we still permit this to continue because in fact the vast majority of us are paying no price whatsoever.
Jesus wept.
— Posted by Whitt
2007
4:52 pm
I salute you. But freedom IS free - if you are a citizen of democratic countries (Mexico, India & Scotland to name a few) where we are exporting Americian jobs. Americans like you are fighting for the freedom for corporations to take your job and send it overseas. As I speak, a co-worker is being laid off, is training his Indian replacement and is shipping out to Irag with the Pennsylvania National Guard in November. What/who is he fighting for?
— Posted by Ed
2007
11:59 pm
freedom is much more important than life.thanks sandi,come on!help people isgreat,god bless you
— Posted by myq
2007
3:57 am
It saddens me to see all these comments blaming “the government” or our “leaders” or “George Bush”. Have we all forgotten how our constitution begins? “We the People…” In the original, the size of the letters in that phrase are about 5 times that of all the rest of the text.
We the People are the ones that let Bush lead us into this ridiculous debacle. We are the ones who believed Bush when he said that Saddam was involved in 9-11, that Iraq had WMDs, that Iraq was allied with Al-Qaeda, and all the other claptrap that we CHOSE to believe.
The people of America are completely separated from reality. We belive that we can fight a war, cut taxes, and run up our debt with no consequences. We believe that we can fight terrorism while buying record amounts of oil at record prices from those who support our enemies. We believe these things because they make our lives easier and require no sacrifices, at least on the part of the majority of people.
We the People are soft. We are obese in our bodies and in our minds. We are looking constantly for the easy way out. This is not the attitude of a nation that is on the rise. This is the attitude of a nation in decline, decaying from within from laziness and disintrest.
Our children aren’t educated nearly as well as in other countires. We are supporting the growth of China, a dictatorship anathema to all our values, by buying all our goods from them. Our currency is in free fall from our enormous debt. We hated around the world for our arrogance and cluelessness.
Ms. Austin’s story is a sad consequence of our laziness. Had we questioned our leaders more closely we would not be in this mess in Iraq. If our leaders knew that we would hold them accountable for poor decisions on the war and on everything else, they would make better decisions. But sadly, in America, We the People believe that it is better to hold a President accountable for lying about oral sex than accountable for an illegal war and incompetent leadership. We are not worthy heirs to the ideals presented in our Constitution.
— Posted by Spuff